The Other Love

We love to show “love” to our children. We like to buy things for them, cuddle with them, play with them, and hug them. We purely enjoy talking to them, taking them places, reading to them, and teaching them fun stuff, but this is only one type of love. and without the “other” type of love our parenting is not balanced.

Too many of us, parents, lament that we don’t like to “discipline” children. Many of us complain that we feel mean when we have to give consequences, or we say we don’t want to be a warden over our children. Some of us become overwhelmed with guilt, for the tiniest consequence we give to our children.

What everybody must come to grips with, is that a consequence for poor behavior, will be given sooner or later. Either parents will suffer the consequences, or, with any luck, the child will suffer the consequences. Most often it’s both..

This other love: teaching discipline, teaching children responsibility, teaching them compassion, teaching them to respect others, teaching morals, teaching values, may not be fun, but it is necessary.

This love requires us to take off blinders, see our children as they are. Step out of pretty high heeled shoes, and put on our combat boots. Some behavioral patterns that we allowed to settle in our children: lying, stealing, telling us what to do, and being cruel, will take an all out brawl to reverse.

Unfortunately, many of us won’t get into the fight. Instead we will serve them another bowl of cookies, calm their tantrum for the moment, and put our blinders (that they knocked off) back over our eyes.

As these cute cuddly cubs grow into fully grown lazy, sometimes, vicious lions, we completely ignore their poor, unruly, often loud and arrogant behavior. We allow misguided mercy, lead us and our children further and further into the murky waters of undeserved entitlement and overly empowerment.

We give standing ovations for children who clearly need weeks more of practice. We lie to them telling them they are doing a good job, when we know they were terrible. We allow others to give them  trophies when we know that it’s undeserved. All of this to preserve the precious self-esteem of undeserved entitled and  empowered children.

Do we really think that our children don’t know how terrible they are? They think they have us fooled, and we think we have them fooled.

A Terrible Situation

It is always a sad situation when a loved one dies. It seems to be doubly-sad when it is a little child that dies! No matter what the reason or cause is, when a child dies it puts the parents in a tailspin. Even if a child is sick and the doctors have said the illness is terminal, when death actually occurs, it is still extremely sad.

It is even more of a shock when death is sudden and unexpected. Can there be a worse feeling in the world than a parent losing an infant child? The parent in the article is going through all sorts of scenarios in her brain about what happened; how could it happen; why did it happen; and of course the nagging question of what could she have done to prevent it? Guilt is always waiting for an opportunity!

She will need constant support and encouragement from her family and friends to get through this terrible situation. It is a sad fact that many parents have gone through the same situation before, but that never makes it any easier for the latest person forced to travel that path. The mother commented about the baby that, “All she wanted was to be was held and loved.” Ultimately, isn’t that what we all want?

If you were the mother’s friend, what would you say or do for her in her time of sorrow? Please comment and let us know.

Whoa, Nelly!

There is a lot of commentary about the latest Sports Illustrated (SI) swimsuit edition. Is it okay? Is it risqué? Is it too much? Is it pornographic? The model in the photo, Hannah Davis, says, “I think its empowering.”  Another model said, “Her bikini bottoms are in the perfectly placed position.” They sure are; to keep the porno censors off SI’s back!

Of course our concern is how does or will it affect our children? What message is it sending to young girls and boys? It is tough enough to get children to dress appropriately without adding overt sexuality into the dress code. Make no doubt about it; this is sexuality at play in order to sell magazines.

Sure the human body is a work of art, but should that work of art be seen in its full glory by everyone on the planet? The model is showing everything possible, and if she could she would show possible! How does Derek Jeter feel about his girlfriend “letting it all hang out”? What separates SI from the hundreds of other porno mags on the rack, just a thin strip of Lycra?

Showing that much skin is not empowering, it is degrading. It causes women to be seen as a piece of meat for others to ogle. I know she is an intelligent woman, but she may feel differently about this picture later in life. Ideas of what’s hot and what’s not change after you become parents and have children.

Comment and let us know, do you think it is too much? Would you want your daughter posing like that?

See it for yourself.

Suffer The Little Children…

Babies are a blessing from God!

 

This is a sad, but very conflicting article to read. Two parents had a child that was diagnosed with Down Syndrome. The mother is from Armenia where there is still a lot of negative stigma attached to children with the condition. The mother decided not to keep the baby and told the husband that if he keeps the baby she will divorce him. The father, from new Zealand, decided to keep the baby. And two weeks later divorce him she did!

Millions of children live daily with Down Syndrome. They live happy, fulfilling lives even with the limitations that the condition causes. Many of these children grow up to get married, have children (without Down Syndrome), hold paying jobs, have careers, travel, enjoy adventures, and have even acted on TV and in movies. Many children born without Down Syndrome never accomplish as much!

The father is moving forward with taking care of the baby and planning for his future. He is fighting for, and funding, organizations that work with children that have Down Syndrome.

As parents, we never know what may befall our children at any point in life. Accidents, disease, and tragedy are part of this world as we know it. But so also are joy, kindness, happiness, and love! Our responsibility is to love, cherish, teach, enjoy, and care for our children as much as we possibly can, while we can.

Read full article here.

Leave a comment and let us know what you think about the husband’s or wife’s decision?

A gun range in the backyard?!

Recently, a Florida man erected a gun range in his residential backyard only 8 feet from his neighbor’s swing set. Just a vinyl fence separated the gun range from the neighbor’s children and visiting kids.

The range was made of cement blocks, wooden pallets, and dirt. It is perfectly legal in Florida. According to St. Petersburg Police, “It’s legal to fire in your backyard as long as you don’t do so in a reckless or negligent manner.” The whole idea sounds reckless and negligent to me! Does it being legal make it a good idea?

The man built the range because he couldn’t afford the costs to go to a commercial shooting range. He never actually used the range before he decided to take it down. There were protests by the neighbors and he admittedly said he wasn’t 100% confident of it anyway.

Even the best shooters miss or the bullet could ricochet! What would stop the bullet then? The fence, the house, a child?

What would you say if your neighbor did this?